losing end

i dont know what exactly i'm feeling ryt now. this is supposedly a big day for me.. imagine, meeting up mr. nice guy and being with him for even a few hours is just so so cool.
but shit knows that we cant... will never..
yesterday, iwas such a loser that i drove him mad. imaturity even if i've grown for about a year. i'm no 18 in attitude. fuck it. talk about being an adult.
but hey, this is a damn important matter.. not an adult stuff not even a teenage stuff...
this is my life... my day...
and i spoiled it all because of the fucking i did...

now, i dont know. he's in his slumber.. damn the world.. he's in a day off.
and now i'm talking shit. L.O.S.E.R.

ok great day for me.. a good time for me to die...