goodbye (for now)

that should have been the last word i said to him during our last conversation but up to the very last minute, i could not muster the courage to say it to him..

i was thinking then..he has caused me pain but i think he has no clear idea about what he has done..what was i thinking? actually, the more i have thought about him for the past month has made me feel worse about our situation..i should have never let him get too close to me..i should have stayed away when i had an excuse to do so..but i did not listen to what my mind was saying, instead i followed my heart's instructions..and now i am paying the price
i am a coward, i know..you won't hear anything from me from now on..if i get scared or if i need comfort, i won't be tempted to let you know about it..i would try to learn again to live a life independent from you..your existence for the past three years has been great, it has been a blessing..you gave me hope but you also took that hope away..i just wish you happiness and if one day i see you somewhere, i hope i can smile at you without any pretensions..