sorry
words are not enough to express how painful it is to let go. in fact, as i'm writing this whole thing, i can't help but take deep sighs to release the tension building up inside. i know that iam not the perfect person for you,
and yet i keep on trying countless number of times to show you how much am i willing to give. but it seems like it doesn't make you any happier. i thought that you could be the person to understand since you have traced me entirely from the very start.probably you were right most of the time. you have a number of points to raise for my lack of inconsiderations. but isnt it just fair to broaden your horizons and give me a fair share of your understanding? or i just couldnt make up for the demands and have touched the last nerve of your patience. whatever the case is, i have fought my whole life on this, i have adjusted, even tightened up to the last hole of my belt. but that doesn't mean that i have perfected myself that there is no room left enough for flaws. and for this last moment that we've been together, this shallow imperfection has led me to a realization that for such a long time i kept on suppressing. i can no longer tolerate the discipline im putting myself into. i have drained my resources and can't afford to invest the remaining percent i have left. sorry.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
the hell with monday-holiday drizzles
blame the mothball fumes for making me sick since thursday. i was busy digging in salvation army's refuse of clothes and bags that i wasn't able to notice that i have inhaled air borne protists and other micro specimens. the next day, was unfortunate as well to even get my fingers in deep trouble. think about fuming sulfuric acid + tollen's reagent. woohoo.. double double whammy. swear, it left a chocolatey rich mark with stings to match. pakshet. there was no actual first aid, since i discovered it at home already and my mom insisted on putting petroleum jelly all over, i on the other hand would like to try on acetone to erase the mess. but she won't let me- fearing about the possible reaction of another chemical would blow my fingers away (read: ignition-reaction theory of matter).
fast forwarded, saturdays and sundays didnt do well. the shearing pain in my throat and my runny nose set me early to bed for 2 straight nights. and my medications/ fruit juices/ lozenges won't do me any good. except that it facilitates disruption of circadian cycles and inhibits activation of my reticular system. in short, my anticipation of a hassle free monday holiday is nothing but jammed traffics on books and handouts. spare me from the "headaches". well, i hope.
blame the mothball fumes for making me sick since thursday. i was busy digging in salvation army's refuse of clothes and bags that i wasn't able to notice that i have inhaled air borne protists and other micro specimens. the next day, was unfortunate as well to even get my fingers in deep trouble. think about fuming sulfuric acid + tollen's reagent. woohoo.. double double whammy. swear, it left a chocolatey rich mark with stings to match. pakshet. there was no actual first aid, since i discovered it at home already and my mom insisted on putting petroleum jelly all over, i on the other hand would like to try on acetone to erase the mess. but she won't let me- fearing about the possible reaction of another chemical would blow my fingers away (read: ignition-reaction theory of matter).
fast forwarded, saturdays and sundays didnt do well. the shearing pain in my throat and my runny nose set me early to bed for 2 straight nights. and my medications/ fruit juices/ lozenges won't do me any good. except that it facilitates disruption of circadian cycles and inhibits activation of my reticular system. in short, my anticipation of a hassle free monday holiday is nothing but jammed traffics on books and handouts. spare me from the "headaches". well, i hope.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
sojourns and hormonal spurts
Spilling the beans just to free myself from impediments would entirely be a no win case as it would complicate matters. However, I opt to do so for no apparent reason. Probably, my tongue’s sting is too much to handle than the notoriety of becoming the next walking headline to be talked over a cup of coffee. The past few weeks were completely occupied by frequent toilet trips, vertigo experiences, number counting- yes, forwards and backwards (checking on the double if I got my computations right, whether I have landed on the wrong date or on the not so wrong dates) and hoarding every drop of possible justification for my crisis.
What if the answers lie in those morsels of white stuck bwn my digits? Or could it be that divine intervention blastula implantation achievable?
Spilling the beans just to free myself from impediments would entirely be a no win case as it would complicate matters. However, I opt to do so for no apparent reason. Probably, my tongue’s sting is too much to handle than the notoriety of becoming the next walking headline to be talked over a cup of coffee. The past few weeks were completely occupied by frequent toilet trips, vertigo experiences, number counting- yes, forwards and backwards (checking on the double if I got my computations right, whether I have landed on the wrong date or on the not so wrong dates) and hoarding every drop of possible justification for my crisis.
What if the answers lie in those morsels of white stuck bwn my digits? Or could it be that divine intervention blastula implantation achievable?
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