isang uboderang sinungaling

may katulong kami na ang pangalan ay "beng" at sa di malamang dahilan, hindi namin mabuo ang kanyang totoong pangalan. kung di lang dahil sa papel de agencia na nakita sa drawer niya matapos siyang lumayas/ pinalayas, malamang she will be remembered as the certain "beng" as mom would have put it.

its a june 12 when she marked our calendars- immediate goodbye; na ginawan niya ng isang malakomedyang exit/ maladrama sa parte niya (maaksyon pa nga). a fight na almost "killing spree" na ang datign kung di pa naawat, sent her back home. and during the discussion "beng" told dad na kinakanti daw siya ng isang tibo (def.: inaasar). and this time it rose her temper. what started the fight was when this tomboy aka marlin, suddenly rushed for her inside the house. which she explained why she hurried home and look for some sort of weapon (read: pangsafeguard).
its mostly a verbal fight, in "beng's" part- panakot lang naman ang jack sa kamay at puro mura ang ginawa. marlin, on the other hand went out after she realized na pwede siyang makasuhan ng trespassing.
dad tried to pacify "beng's" anger for an hour and a half. at ang makapal na mukhang katulong, napaka OA na talga that she even kicked the car every time she felt that it would be the best moment to match with her cries. pinauwi siya ng crame asap, sabi ni tito, mainit na dugo ng kapitbahay sa kanya. kinailangan ng baranggay tanod para makumbinsi na umuwi na. at katulad ni mcarthur, she uttered: "babalikan ko siya..." - mga huling salita bago sumibat.

what made her the uboderang sinungaling?
- the fight between her and the tomboy ay dahil sa nabuking siya (bilang katulong) ng nagpakilala siya sa isang girl sa tapat ng bahay namin na may-ari ng bahay namin.... (kapal)
- when we're out of town, she once told some neighbors that she was dad's cousin.
- at ang pakilala niya sa counter boy sa mercury: nagwowork daw siya sa call center. (yan talga ang panalo- mukha pa lang di na papasa)
* im not judgemental, nor superficial. but she's just too much. aside from the fact that she's so comfortable inside the house she even tries to meddle in family affairs; had asked my brothers to work in the dishes whenever dad's away; and was always out- para dumaldal.

that's where my mom's pay for her go.

sana di bigo

iam a senior psych student with plans of going med. but as of the present moment a medicine dream seems to be shifting away from the way things are turning out: a mediocre mark from compara anat, mama leaving, and plus plus debits (this is where the privys come in).
for a parent under tights, will he be willing to pay a little over a million, wait for another half a decade just to see his daughter gleaming and getting ready for her 1st operation?

that i think won't do. (hoping that my hopes wont fall)

a month's hardwork, only equals a seat of mediocrity. and even if i have plucked and burned my eyebrows, its the only seat available. i always wonder how come those night stretches didn't span my success mark. and when will my efforts reach the fullest of the fullest?

summer really is a suspense thriller.

calle katorse

UNION

two in between eight equals equals equals
is multiplied by
parenthesis parenthesis parenthesis one (and only one) parenthesis parenthesis
parenthesis
means a bundle of challenges, joy and naught.

mathematically wrong but practically right.

slumber
recently, was out to study. ended up as a sober. totally wasted that is.
just another night of excuses.

*whoever played my camera was a total jerk.

badly needing a hug

and so you thought you're lucky you got a brain;
for 2 straight days of continuously memorizing the muscles, you see hope for a final exam exemption. you keep doin the rituals to keep you standing firm. and yet when the time has arrived, and you have called the gods, it did no good. that brain you've been relying with has totally failed.

and even if you have shifted to a different chapter of body system, you still cant move on. absent mindedly tearing that greater omassum to pieces and breaking the cat's jaws doesnt satisfy you to the bone. how come?

still keeping fingers crossed for exam results tomorrow.

how can you possibly write about a person you've loved for almost a year and a half? i can always say that he's one of the greatest person that has come in. i always ask if he's a product of time or just got my luck?i can also bombard the screen with cliched adjectives like he's the most loving, caring, generous, patient - anything that'd make him sound like the perfect boyfriend - and still accomplish nothing except maybe for sounding like a friendster testimonial gone horribly wrong. how can you possibly write about a person whose smallest, most insignificant details - like how he has got his scar on his chin, or how he throws jabs when angry or how his jaw drops when he sleeps - fascinate the life out of you? seriously, with only a thousand letters, how can you write about such a person? i honestly do not know.

its probably time whose gonna fill these all up.

shadow

past the crevices
and nearing the looming emptiness
never looking back
heart running faster than
your limbs do

pay a million times grand
for your life's insurance
a twin for your reserve-
with matching imprints
from thumb to basic strings

finite to infinity
where everything is
programable
back to zero

all attempts
doesnt pay
think you have outsmarted death?

fantasy. fallacy

narcissus

the summer solstice tragedy: when narcissus dipped into the water and has coveted thine self, selfish thinking has led to his end

how suicidal.

yet his flowers bloom. for millions grace his tragedy stripping naked, plus the drools and sweat. drag theirsselves into the waters and love its reflection.

such is the beauty.

@migs
yup there is.. (i think). but not in the sort of "on the rocks".

to avoid boat "rockin" its a 2 week rest.
god has rested on the 7th day, maybe ours need one too.

and migs- sobrang magiging busy talga ako for the next couple of weeks.
pwede na bang excuse yun?

nasty

there will always be pepo-le perv roundin the corner
with a click of the shutter, you might lose that privacy of yours
and theirs, a thousand gains

makeitclear

if life is a piece of boredom
then........shit- pee, shit- pee
round as
circle it goes

cut loops of and press brakes
or

try centrifuge- see the layers
afterall

its not always shit and pee

Ha? ako ba to?
i dont think so
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outline

early summer getaway at zambales. sun had painted my limbs red. now suffering from sunburns.




*photo from l-r: helicopter island, a shot at the beach, me and daniel

311

it doesn't matter if you haven;t visited the showers. the old smell of your socks plus plus pheromones will surely be a key to lock some one else's chemoreceptors. and even if you have made some drama to resist the upcoming dread of being boxed again, its always a haunt.
a 400+ -- fast forwarded, sensuous crap and i love you's.
everyones a high.
for even the good deed of yours sometimes pay. and whatever it is, the one thing that will matter is that the grease seeps deep. your blood follows in the morning.
a blessed sign (?)

wacky!!!

sunday has never been a laughtrip. rj went with me to church!!! whoohooo!!! very unlikely. some shots. :)

*but he never seem to notice*

crippled

a glimpse of the past is cycling in the present.
3 cups of diluted caffeine equals an afternoon of palpitations.
an internal time machine has shifted me to the past.
i felt his weak ego projections..

i already killed him. in my dreams....
sad love story

- end of story -

kalyo kalyong paa

unang beses ko lang maglakad paikot ng mendiola. prusisyon na di ako kabilang. pumapel lang ako at nakieksena. pumasok sa bakod ng iba, ngunit hindi naman trumespass- salamat sa maagap na paghawak sa aking kamay at pagbibigay sa akin ng entrance ticket.
ang paghawak rin na iyon ang nagdala at nagikot sa akin paikot ng kalsada.

isang matalinhagang kwento ang prusisyon sa mendiola noong linggo. isang daang dasal at higit pa ang inalay kay sto. nino. isang hatak sa palad.

2 mahigpit na hawak.

few sips are fine

the moment you let your finger go, its just a matter of time before your whole body'll follow. and looking at the hourglass you just set in, the time's already over. someone has already fed on you. its a helpless case.
but on the contrary, [i am loving the idea that somebody has fed on me]

*this doesn't mean danger right?*